answers to the why blog

I do think I have uncovered some of the answers to the why blog.
Because I have packaged love. I make people bow down to the idols I have made out of love. I try to make people act and believe my blurred vision of love. perhaps my view of love is not the way love looks or is at all. You betchya it's not! My vision and version of love and the packages I have put love into have to be put at the foot of the cross, put on the cross and crucified. So that I can receive Daddy God's TRUE LOVE.
I have watched the movie princess bride now 2 times. There's some kind of signifigance in that. prior to this season I have been very anti-romantic, lovey dovey, ooey gooey love story, fantasy, fairy tale movies, stories and dreams. I've called them propaganda, lies fed to us as children.
hmmm... packages....
"as you wish Daddy, as you wish"

observation

It was a month, a week, a day, specific hours, and finally after certain events, talks, exchanges, glances and objects. Finally somethings changed after that day, those hours, events, talks, glances and objects. Something's different. Can't exactly put my finger on it or wrap my mind around it. Only have been feeling emptiness, lonliness and void. Things have changed...feel different, sound different...hmmm... Now feelings of satisfaction, contentment and belonging.

shattered, splintered pieces

Lately has not been very good seemingly. Seems as if most things I've touched lately have broken into tiny pieces. Literally. The things I've held dear for a few years I've broken. Not on purpose. The ceramic rabbit I've had since I was 3. Which I have adored and cherished. The nativity set I worked so hard to buy. The angel I had only just been given. And finally me. Lying on the bed, in ball, crying and sobbing hair matted to my face. I have finally just given up and let the shattered, splintered pieces fall....